The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly straight from the source with gay men, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, many gay guys want to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration useful link to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your my sources vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar